How Rage Helped Me Heal
I remember a teenage screaming match with my mom where she kindly, repeatedly informed me of my biggest flaw: Impatience.
Even though I knew I was indeed being a brat, I knew in my gut that in the right context, the same trait that infuriated my mother, could become my biggest asset. And I was right.
When I was competing to win a NCAA D1 rowing medal, it was my impatience and intolerance for mediocrity that drove me to set a new standard for myself, my teammates, and my competitors.
When I was in a toxic relationship, it was my distaste for disrespect that drove me to sabotage the relationship and cause it to end.
When I was planning what to do after graduating college, it was my impatience with conformity that drove me to save my money to solo-travel for 16 months.
When I was living in spiritual communities with dirt poor hippies, it was my dissatisfaction with a lack of impact that drove me to create a profitable business that has the power to expand far beyond the service I might otherwise have been capable of offering people.
In the personal development/ spiritual world, it’s dangerous to try to solve problems by bypassing negativity for sugar-coated gratitude.
The idea that we should be more grateful for what we have is causing an epidemic of dissatisfaction in the developed world.
Because how dare you “complain” of feeling like your soul is dying when there are homeless kids going hungry, right?
(This exact thought is what kept me from getting help for my eating disorder for years- ridiculous, right?!)
But here’s the thing: Your ‘negative’ feelings are the biggest freaking blessing you might ever have.
Imagine that your emotions are like an internal feedback system trying to point you in the right direction: The more positive the emotions, the more you know you’re in the right place. The more negative the emotions, the more feedback about where you’re not supposed to be.
Pretending your negative emotions don’t exist is like ignoring a fire alarm going off in your house: It is probably in your best interest to get up off the couch and go see what’s setting off the fire alarm, not just pretend it doesn’t exist.
This is why rage is liberating, why rage can help you heal.
Because rage, dissatisfaction, fear, intolerance, agitation, worry, insecurity are all positive emotions in that they redirect us towards what’s meant for us.
You are meant to live a life of fun, laughter, excitement, and profound personal and professional fulfillment.
Anything less indicates that something is off.
So hear yourself out, don’t discount the uncomfortable feelings, know that learning what’s not for you is just as important as learning what’s meant for you, and get yourself step by step into a situation that supports you to become who you’re meant to be.
Remember that we were born happy, we were born trusting, we were born not needing to know all the steps ahead of us for us to be able to enjoy our days.
So maybe the pursuit of happiness isn’t only about finding the things that make you happy, but rather it’s liberating yourself from the things that make you unhappy.
Your life is in your hands, and the only one who can save you is yourself.
If you want someone to see, support, and guide you through the process of becoming who you’re meant to be, email me at sophie@soulfullexcellence.com to see if there’s a spot for you in my private coaching.
If you’ve already read all the personal development books, maybe gone to a seminar or two, and your mind is still an uncomfortable place to be, then your frustration is legitimate.
You were meant for more, and I’m here to help guide you back to your truth and the realization of your greatness: A reality that makes your heart sing.
If this is you, let’s talk at sophie@soulfullexcellence.com.
